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Righteous Anger
Sometimes I feel a strong emotion and I have no idea where to direct it. The internet fuels that fire because then you can go into the comments to make sure you aren’t totally crazy in your own response and find some truly unhinged takes. You might then feel compelled to comment yourself and get all worked up. However noble your intentions, it might leave you feeling exhausted and bitter with no change to the other person’s opinion on the matter. I think it is important when this happens to keep this thought in mind: the only thing we can strive for in life is to leave the world better than when we found it. That is my philosophy as I am raising my daughter. Not only to avoid those things that made my own childhood harder, but to make sure that she has a great life
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Eating to Fill a Void
I have been prepping my meals recently where I make lunches for two people then split it and eat one portion now and the other tomorrow. However, I have been eating both portions at the same time and it’s making me feel like the Good Year blimp. I am not sure why I do this, I think I am just mindlessly stress eating or trying to fill a void that depression created. Either way, I have to break this habit soon.
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Dealing with Anxiety and Depression
I have been dealing with these issues ever since I could form memories. I had a bit of a tough childhood and those issues follow you through adulthood. However, this is not something you can do nothing about because you have resources available to you to deal with these feelings. I am a huge advocate for therapy and currently I am taking Wellbutrin for my depression and medical marijuana for my anxiety. I should feel no shame for needing help and medication because the alternative is feeling the worst I’ve ever felt for an indefinite period of time.
I make jokes to my husband that no matter how many times he compliments me on my body/accomplishments/personality, there is a mental illness filter that doesn’t allow it to be accepted in my brain. That chemical imbalance is making it difficult to cultivate self-esteem. That is why it is so important to address these issues because you are important and you need to come back to yourself.
I also scheduled a gyno appointment to take a look at my hormone levels after giving birth because that also might be causing some psychological and physical symptoms.
If you or a loved one are ever feeling extremely distressed and thinking of self-harm, please call these numbers below for emergency assistance. Your family and friends care about you
Call or text: 988
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Coffee is Fuel
I never liked coffee. Or tea. It seems you have to like one or the other if you are an adult and that is for one important reason: caffeine. After I had my daughter, I was in danger of falling asleep while standing up. I think I was scared off coffee because
- The smell was horrendous, like burnt toast
- And my mother drank coffee as often as she did breath
I didn’t want to get addicted to the caffeine because adults who NEED coffee in the morning really freaked me out. I was at a Bach part one weekend and it felt like the Hunger Games in the kitchen: everyone desperately clawing through the drawers trying to find at least one loose coffee bean to survive.
Luckily, creamer exists because otherwise I would have never started drinking it. I drink a cup a day so far to get my morning work done before my daughter wakes up for the day. I still hate the smell and the taste is still meh but it is getting better. I wonder if we all have a timer over our heads that count down until the day we need to start drinking that bean water to survive
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Organization Struggles
I have been struggling with staying organized and getting things done in a timely manner. It is a running joke on my Twitch stream that I have a different setup every time I go live because I cannot commit to one thing. It doesn’t help that Pinterest exists and makes things look really pretty. I will show you what my actual setup is and link my Pinterest list for office inspiration. One day, I would like to have a dedicated office for my things that keep me on track and be as minimal as possible, but not yet!
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Possibilities
Dealing with anxiety and depression my entire life has given me a strong will. Once you go through the worst, the rest doesn’t seem too bad. One of my biggest issues is organization and following through with projects. That is why I am creating a site, so I can write down my thoughts and organize all my notes in one place. Let me know how it is and if I need to step it up
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About Me
A 30 year old streamer that loves to buy too many coffee table books, is never satisfied with her office setup, and wants to like cooking
Molly's Blog 